As you are well aware from the previous post, our baby bird started to fly this week. We still have 14 years until our nest will be empty but flight lessons have begun.
Yesterday and today were my first 2 days of being alone. Of course, I've been places with out kids many times since our oldest was born 12 years ago, but these last 2 days were the first time that I've been childless because all of my children had somewhere to be and I didn't. When one of my friends asked me what I was going to do this year now that P was in Pre-K for 2 hours Monday through Thursday, I said, "I don't really know." I didn't really think I would notice her being gone that much. She is a pretty independent child and in the mornings, she plays on her own while I go about my activities in the house (laundry, cleaning, e-mail, etc.) So, I really didn't think things would be that different with her gone.
Well, I was wrong. When she went to school on Wednesday I studied my scriptures, went to my garden plot and took care of my few remaining plants (that haven't died from disease) and hand watered them. Then I came home and picked tomatoes and beans in my back yard garden and watered. After that I showered and checked my e-mail. I was amazed at how much I got done in 2 hours because I was on my own. (And today was just as productive.)
I love being a mother and I love my children but the lack of observable and measurable productivity that is involved with raising children has been my one frustration as a mother. The majority of my complaints to R are about how "I got nothing done today" or something along those lines. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out (like this morning) when I'd been up for an hour and a half and all I'd gotten done was making lunches, emptying the dishwasher and taking a shower (and I hadn't even gotten my hair dried yet), because my time was eaten up running up and down the stairs trying to keep my 8 year old focused on getting dressed and making her bed, and trying to get the 4 year old to get dressed when her sister was distracting her, and trying to listen to the 12 year old's random comments about what ever he is thinking about at the time. And all of those things are an important part of being a good mother but for a checklist type person like myself I sometimes just about go crazy.
And so, as I was driving back from grocery shopping today, reflecting on my 2 hours of productive time yesterday, and my 2 hours of productive time today, I was grateful that life has it seasons and I am grateful for the change of season that is happening in my house.
Don't misunderstand me though. Next year, when my baby bird goes to all day kindergarten, I'm going to cry because someone else will be spending more time with her than I get to. But, I'll worry about that next year, for now I'm going to treasure my daily 2 hours of productivity.
5 comments:
Mrs. W skipped home the day she put Fina in school. Fina was worried that Mom wouldn't have anything to do. It is always nice to have some uninterrupted time.
The problem is that you're a checklist person. Without a checklist, you get to do whatever you want.
Oh, how I envy you! I have one more year before Rachel can start here and two before Don. The same year Don finishes Kindergarten, Rayann graduates High School. The time does go fast in hind sight.
i fully expect to cry when my kids go to school too...enjoy those quiet times though...coming from a mom of a 2.5 year old girl (and a 6.5 month old boy, but he's so mellllooooww) lol!
When your first one hits high school, that's when you panic! I realized just how fast the time goes. I am trying to spend as much time as I can. Ofcourse this is also the time that the kids want to spend less time with me. So it makes me sad.
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